FUUUUU-
POSTED AT 01:23 AM

Blacksword

damnit, I thought I could sit my lazy ass here in front of the pc for a few more days. I was wrong. FUUUUUU-

I thought the first day of classes at my new school was on june 15. turns out, it was actually june 8. that really caught me off-guard. my lazy cells are panicking right now! but, well, they're not panicking as much as they should be. because fortunately, my enrollment procedures would be greatly simplified by.. let's just say, a lucky advantage. maybe someday I'll talk about it, but not right now. we don't want that advantage jinxed, right?

since my days of being a house-ridden bum are almost at an end, I'm going to start sleeping early, so that I won't go into shock once school starts.

ermm.. it's past midnight right now, but let's not rush things, shall we? besides, I still have 5 days left. that should be enough to prepare me for next week.

there are a lot of things that I am very nervous about right now. and all of them are connected somehow to the coming week. I just hope I can survive whatever they're going to throw at me once school starts. this is my last shot, and I really need to do good this time.

5 more days. 

anyway, I finally managed to reformat my old pc. well, before that, my sister asked me to reformat hers. and man, did that give me a headache. I was supposed to switch her older 40gb drive and her 'newer' 120gb so that the one with the larger capacity became the system drive with the smaller one as the backup disk. unfortunately, that 'newer' hard drive wasn't very cooperative. it had disk read errors when I tried to switch it from slave to master. I tried all the jumper settings, cable select, flashed the MBR, boot records, you name it, but to no avail. in the end, we decided to just use the old configuration.

and, then, a day later, my pc was suddenly unable to play videos without crashing the system. I still don't know what caused that problem. I knew it was graphics driver related, but I don't know what kind of fix I should do. so, after more than a year of a stable system, I finally had to reformat once again. it was quite a task, but at least my pc's clean now. plus I had the chance to really fluff up my desktop with widgets and stuff. she looks very, very nice right now, with her digiclock and calendar. I can't be more proud. 

hmm.. what else.. ah, they've been talking about katrina halili and hayden kho's sex scandal on tv for a while now. I know, I'm already late in jumping in on the bandwagon, and I'm supposed to have an opinion about it, but well, I don't really give a damn. as long as they don't show it on tv that much, I'm fine with it. that is, IF they don't show it that much. I mean, yeah, it's news-worthy, but should you really be talking about sex scandals in front of viewers who could potentially be minors? elementary students have civics for a subject, which means their teachers would have to discuss sex scandals in the classroom since, after all, the media's buzzing with it. current events, 'ya know. and a scandal is a scandal only when it is scandalized (LOL). just stop talking about it and it will go away eventually (and I just contradicted myself with that statement, haha).

so anyway, it's really late, and I have to sleep now if I'm going to repair my broken internal bioclock. 

prayer for tonight: I hope I can make my remaining free days count.

ciao!

 

Feeling: unsure

God hit it on the nail
POSTED AT 11:24 AM

Blacksword

On this day of your life, Andy, we believe God wants you to know... 

 

... that humans learn only by trial and error, and that includes you. 

You've got to live life, not think about it. Step into the midst of things, try and fail and learn and stand up again. The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will. The question is do you want to learn and grow, or do you want to shrink back and be stuck? Take that step you've been avoiding. You can succeed, or you can get feedback that it didn't work, but in either case you are sure to feel alive. 

Got this from facebook, actually. buuut, well.. God moves in mysterious ways, they say. so who knows. I mean, he must've been seeing me with eyes glued to my pc screen for a long time, so I guess he knew how to reach me. 

 

 

A tip for the coming 2010 elections: don't be an idiot.
POSTED AT 12:48 AM

Blacksword

So.. let's be honest. with all the corruption and idiocy going on in the Philippine government today, would you still want to vote?

Well, if you really are going to waste your time doing so, let me give you my take on what I think would happen in the coming election. 

First of all, it won't really matter if you'd vote or not. Your vote will not count. It's either someone's gonna use your identity and vote for you, or you'll vote, but it won't count. As the last election taught us, half of the country's population is in maguindanao, and they're all pro-administration, haha (just kidding, btw). They're only campaigning so that whatever votes they can conjure up would look legit. What I mean is, no matter how educated the public is, cheating WILL happen, whether you like it or not. And no big fish will ever be caught cheating. they have been so adept at cheating that they have developed intricate webs of deceit, with no accountability whatsoever for the inner circles of this web. Not even Marcos was convicted of cheating in a court trial, not even when he was so blatantly manipulating the numbers at the 1986 snap elections (but the public was pretty fed up by that time, so this led to that, and, well, you know what happenned afterwards). So if you're going to vote, then it would be best if you just sold your vote. That way, you don't have to totally waste your time at the voting centers, since you did earn some money. trust me, it still happens in a lot of places, especially in the provinces, where the reach of Imperial Manila and its educated voters are short.

Second, the automated voting process. Seems like it won't push through. But if it did, no matter how fool-proof they may seem to be, when there is a corrupt will, there is a way. There would still be technical staff attending to the machines, who could possibly be bribed. The data could still be corrupted or replaced, one way or another. If they're not transferring the data through a network, there's the possibility of transports carrying the storage devices being hijacked, just like when they hijacked ballots back then. And, from what I've heard, even if the voting machines aren't connected to a network, the final tally would still be sent to the united states for verification through the internet. Which will definitely be vulnerable should anyone try to 'hack' the systems doing the transfer. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for an automated system. But I don't think it would work, with our current situation and all. 

Third, the candidates. 

Good Lord, I could go on forever. 

I mean, would you vote for someone who was accused of plunder together with his dad, and whose only role in the senate was to make ROTC mandatory, and taunt Bolante with the question 'ano ang mas importante sa yo, bayan o meeting mo?' during the fertilizer scam investigations?

Or someone who never did anything meaningful in the senate, wasted the senate's and the people's attention by talking about celebrity scandals, and yet has enough free time and nerve to host a badly-conceptualized rip-off of a show on television and make badly hastened movies just to make papogi? What. The. Fuck. 

We've had enough of those useless idiots. I don't know how they managed to win (I guess a lot of people were equally dumb as well), but at least they're just useless idiots who have no idea what they're doing.

But what about those who do know what they're doing and are actively hurting the nation and it's people?

I don't know the ones whom you should vote for, but I do know the ones whom you shouldn't.

You should never vote for the ones who uses the poor as a platform for their campaign.

Why?

Well, I don't know about you, but in my opinion, they're the ones who are hurting the poor.

Ever since the Philippines became a country, there have been poor people in it. And ever since the nation became a democracy, there have been politicians who have taken advantage of the uneducated masses. 

Why the poor people? Well, it doesn't take a genius to know that they consist the largest percentage of the entire population. Plus, they're really easy to trick. The upper classes, oh, you'd have a lot to do to please those just to include their help into your political machinery. And besides, there aren't a lot of rich people compared to the rest of the population, anyway. For the middle class wage-earners (who, by the way, are the true heroes of the nation and are the ones who should really be taken care of), if you're going to run for office, then you'll really have to be honest if you want to please them. But the poor, oh the poor. Give them food, money, shirts with your face on them, what have you. And boom, instant multitude of votes. 

And then the hurting starts once they win. 

I think they're hurting the poor specifically for the reason of having more easily-pleased voters every election season. The more poor people to 'help', the more votes they can gather. A lot of people are pushed to crime every election time. I don't want to be so pointy-fingered, but if you've lived in this country, you certainly don't wonder anymore why kidnappings and bank robberies occur whenever election season is near. And these evil men continue to destroy the country by manipulating the votes of the masses in favor of candidates who don't even have an idea what they're actually supposed to do with their position. And once they win, they instantly forget about the poor people who developed diabetes because of their sugar-coated sweet promises. They forget about the people to whom they promised to give everything, if they just wrote the candidate's name on their ballots.

What really happens once they win is that those wage-earners and small-to-medium-businesses who actually pay their taxes would be paying the politicians PhP19 billion in pork barrel, or have their taxes spun around in a very corrupt and inept system (which will then be mostly used up on travel money whenever Manny Pacquiao has a fight in Las Vegas, or on gas for their big black SUVs, among other things). While the poor continues to be poor, because the people they voted for have forgotten about them and are busy either paying back the big businesses that helped them during the election. Or doing trivial stuff, like making movies, hosting tv shows, digging up dirt about each other in the form of 'exposes', and then throwing it around so they'd have less competitors the next election. Or investigating celebrity scandals which would be better left to Lolit Solis and Butch Francisco. Or distracting our boxing heroes by enticing them to run for congress. 

Whatever happens, once they win, we lose. 

Now, it's not like I don't want everyone to vote. But with this kind of political atmosphere, would you stilll want to vote? 

Right now, there are a lot of organizations that are conducting campaigns to push for an honest, clean election. But let's be realistic. What can we really do against the established machinery of the corrupt politicians? Who are we going to go against? There's no definite organization or individual that we really can put a finger on. You catch a group of goons stealing ballots, and all you'll ever accomplish is jail the grunts of an organization that's so intricate, it's most likely that you won't get any undeniable evidence pointing to a mastermind. Everything's deniable. No 'big fish' has ever been convicted in a trial on cheating, or even held in one, for that matter. No one can be accused of anything, except the grunts who just wanted to make some easy money by doing the dirty jobs. It's like trying to fight smoke with your bare fists. 

Besides, there's no use fighting it. It's not as if you had a choice anyway, with the selection of candidates that we have right now.

So.. the only advice that I really can give the voters this coming election is to pray. Start getting close to God, because he's the only one who can save our country now. 

By the way, if I have touched some nerves with what I've written, I apologize. I'm particularly cynical when it comes to politics, which I rarely talk about. I'm not a political anaylist as well. Just a regular citizen of a nation besieged by power-driven politics.

So, before some black ops knock on my door and shoot me in the head..

Ciao!

Feeling: the urge to pee

first day high
POSTED AT 09:04 PM

Blacksword

hmm, pang ilang post ko na 'ba 'to tungkol sa first day? hahaha, nevermind.

first day na sa june 15.

oddly enough, I'm not that nervous. probably because I've been through a LOT of first days, I don't even consider it remotely scary anymore. although, of course, there would definitely be a lot of unknown variables come monday, but I don't really care. whatever happens, happens. that's the way how life goes.

anyway, there had been a change of plans. I was supposed to go to this school in fairview, but there were some 'technical' difficulties, so I had to change school (forgot to mention this in my earlier posts, but watdaheck). from here, my new school's a lot nearer than the one I was supposed to go to, so it's really convenient to reach. good thing for me, really, since the roads tend to be pretty congested on the first day. plus I don't have to wake up early compared to what I've been used to back then.

btw, this new school of mine. it's actually a seminary. LOL.

but I'm not going to be a seminarian. no, that calling is not for me.. or at least I think so.. but nah. I don't think that's what my purpose in life is. I've been there and it took me only three months to realize that the way of the cloth is not for me. and besides, there's this particular someone that would definitely get mad if I do become a priest. don't worry, babe, I'm only there to study.

most of my preparations are complete now. yesteday, we bought the things that I needed for monday in a very, very crowded SM north. we hurried to assemble a couple of my uniform, which is a simple combination consisting of a white polo shirt and a pair of black pants. we also got a pair of black shoes. it's kind of a big deal for me, 'cause it's been a long time since I've worn a uniform for anything. to tell the truth, I'm quite excited to wear my new uniform to school. it's like I'm in highschool again (especially when the uniform I'm wearing makes it look like I AM in highschool).
of course, the uniform's just an aspect of my education. it's the studying that I really should focus on. I'm now a student of Philosophy. huge leap from my former course. but it's all in preparation for the master plan, so to speak.

and when I say master plan, I mean my true goal of becoming a lawyer. well, it might look pretty far-fetched right now, but dreaming about it is a start. ika nga nila, libre naman mangarap eh. but, of course, I won't just sit here and let my life go by with only a dream. I'll definitely, definitely work hard to make sure that I reach my goal.

I don't know if it's going to be easy or hard for me, but either way, I'll do my very best. and it will all begin this coming monday. well, all I can say is.. good luck to me!

ciao.

Feeling: good

kulang sa nutrisyon
POSTED AT 11:49 PM

Blacksword

whew, haha. buti na lang mabait ako.

(insert emo stuff here)

(then something about getting ready for tomorrow)

wait. didn't I just talk about those stuff with my last few posts?

hmm. I'm supposed to be ranting about how I'm starting to get better at getting out of other people's warpaths. buuut doing so will be pretty redundant, as this blog has contained too many similar posts. besides, I'm feeling a lot better right now, thanks to the combo jokes they've been cracking over at the brewrats show, so.. I won't be writing a very emo post right now. 

come to think of it, I don't have anything to post about at all, haha. I mean, lessee.. emo stuff, classes tomorrow.. and I don't feel like writing about small stuff right now, so.. I guess that's it.

but.. somehow, my heart still feels constipated. I've already written a couple of paragraphs about some stuff, but I deleted them, since I don't want to echo my older posts. or maybe because I've lost the ability to communicate my feelings and thoughts properly. could be the effects of being lethargic for so long taking its toll.  

whew, that's pretty bad. tomorrow I'll be surrounded by a lot of people, so I will need to crack my box of social skills open once again. I think I have it around here, somewhere.. oh wait, I don't have social skills. 

crap. 

so hmm.. what am I still doing here? I'm supposed to be sleeping, since I have classes tomorrow morning. well.. I dunno. hmm, okay. I'll just force myself to sleep right now. maybe that's just what I need to loosen up my thoughts a bit. and I'm sure tomorrow's gonna give me lots of material to write about. 

but not bad stuff, I hope. 

okay. tomorrow, then.

goodnight.

err..

c'moooon, sleeeeeeeep!!!

fine, fine. 

ciao!

the bashful one by jose garcia villa
POSTED AT 09:02 PM

Blacksword

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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~ the end ~

beautiful, isn't it?